The highlife.

Don't you just love being in debt?

Wrong.

Debt is for phonies. I'm not a phony. Here's a few tips and tricks for getting rid of debt:

Trick 1: Dig a hole.

There are many uses for holes. Like, burying things, jumping in, placing caskets, etc. I'm sure you'll be able to find a use for this hole. Or not. You could just leave it there. Or cover it in leaves and a tarp and throw some dirt over it. And then wait.

Trick 2: Find your debtor.

Know your debtor. Find out where they live, their children's names, how much money they make and really take the time to plot your demise. Whether it be slow poisoning, a nice vacation to the local guillotine, a bloodstone circle, or a regular old gunshot to the head, we've got it covered! Call 1-800-555-NODEBT, and enter promo code "AMERICA" today to receive 100% off all your debt!

Trick 3: Go missing.

Move to Ukraine, pay a trip to fakenamegenerator.co.uk and print yourself money.

Now that I think of it you can use that printed money to pay off your debts, but where's the fun in that?

Trick 4: Spend more money!

Hey, you only live once, so why not spend as much money as you can, borrowing from every bank in the country? You'll have fun, and once you get old, you'll die and never have to worry about it! It's just pure brilliance! But then, your total amount of racked up debt will go to your family and then they'll have to suffer miserably and you can watch from above as a ghost.

Trick 5: Work hard.

Earn money to pay off your debt.

And as always,