How to evade the Police Cops

Oliver Clearwater is a skilled master of illusion and evasion. He once invaded fifteen Police Cop cruisers, five canine units, and two S.W.A.T. trucks.

"OK, I won't tell you how I did it," Clearwater says "but let's just say the Police won't want to go after you any more if you have a fifty foot tall Tyrannosaurus DINOSAUR in between you and them."

Oliver has been on the run for twelve years and hasn't once been caught. He was convicted for, well, his own death. In a way.

Oliver Clearwater's career as a criminal mastermind began as an adult. He walked into a store, purchased a tombstone with an epitaph that read "He lead a good life. Just kidding. He lead a terrible life" and then purchased it again without paying.

After that, he stole three oranges, a dog toy, four pieces of stationery, and several consecutive amounts of lip balm.

"If you catch this criminal mastermind, that not even Batman has caught," says police cop chief Wayne Mackley, "turn him in immediately, as the reward is very high and handsome. Michael Jordan. HA! JUST KIDDING! You'd be very lucky to get a glimpse of Clearwater. He usually gets his money to pay for things over e-mail," continued Mackley, "for instance, if you get an e-mail from a 'Nigerian Prince', don't answer it."

"Tyrannosaurs are only twenty feet tall," declared Clearwater, "but all the same, bigger is better."

Oliver Clearwater is so clever, in fact, he went back in time and stole the dinosaurs. He claims to have put quite a few in Scotland, particularly in Dores. You know? 'Loch Ness Monster'?

He uses dinosaurs to coordinate his escapes and help him in heists.

Once, he used five Velociraptors to rob a single bank. He took no hostages.

Now we'll go to Steve, who is now with Mr. Clearwater at his franchise estate. Steve?

Yes, I am here with Oliver himself here to ask him, how do you evade the police cops so easily?

"Well, you must be very skilled and devoted in the Dark Arts, Kung Fu, Chun Kuk Do, Leap Frog (always useful for those occasions you find yourself at a kindergarten) and many other things. I traveled into the future, stole a time machine, then traveled to the age of the dinosaurs. I made another Noah's Ark and hid them all in it, activated the tractor beam, and now they're all hidden in the plains of Regardia, a realm you'll NEVER get to.

I don't only use dinosaurs, though. I bet you've never heard of a robbery using WILDEBEESTS, or HOUSE CATS!

Don't worry, I make sure I pay all my little, eh, 'helpers' with an equal amount of money to how hard they worked."

Wow. So there you have it. How to evade the police cops. As told by the professional himself.

Thank you, Steve. And remember, always be on the look out. You never now when Oliver will show up. And I mean WHEN not IF.

Oh--hey, excuse me?

Yes?

I'm Oliver Clearwater and I just wanted to say a few things, there's another guy on the loose. He's just about as good as me, or should I say bad?

Who is it?

His name's David Lloyd.

Oh...OK.

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