Firearm Safety Test

There it is. The firearm safety test, and if you haven't been forced to do it, you've been tied to a chair at gunpoint and THREATENED to do it. Let's face it, our governments WANTS us to have guns, and why do you think?

To be honest, I have no idea.

Here's some easy steps to remember when taking the Firearm Safety Test

1. Always make sure they get your gender mixed up with something else.

2. Always make the instructor feel bad for you by "getting offended" a lot.

3. Disregard EVERYTHING the instructor says as garbage. After all, he just feels bad for you.

4. Always point the gun AWAY from the targets before shooting. You wouldn't want to accidentally make that bull's eye before you even started filming.

5. DO NOT shoot your friend's can full of Coca-Cola.

6. Don't point the gun at the floor or the ceiling. You wouldn't want to ruin your reputation for cave-ins.

7. Continued from 6, make sure you point the gun BEHIND YOU as you may accidentally damage your vital organs or the target before filming.

8. Never wear an orange hat with a picture of a banana on it.

9. Trim your facial hair (if you have any) before every trip to the range.

10. Make sure the gun is loaded and off safety at ALL TIMES. Somebody might break in and try to rob the store.

11. And finally, NEVER put the gun on safety. Seriously. This isn't Baby School.

12. Never, under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, step on a land mine.

13. If there comes a time when you do have a bullet in your chest, just do this: Wear your shirt inside out, clap three times, spin around, say "Aardvark" twice, call 911.

And there you have it. 13 easy steps to remember what to do at a firearm safety test.

Thank you, and if you have any more questions, I will happily oblige to ignore them. Probably.

Get up, throw away your kale chips and salad, grab your AK-47 and kill some bears.